Sibling seniority

I can’t believe that I am sharing this story. Guess! Since it is practiced in my home, why not. I can’t say much about every country in African, but I am sure to talk about my country. In Nigeria, seniority as a whole is a big deal. Growing up as a child I was told that I have to respect anyone who is older than me. More so in my family. My elder brother relished the idea that I have to respect him. By that, I had to call him a seniority name instead of the name giving to him by my parent.

It was awkward at first. I say this because I didn’t understand why my parent had to wait till I am old enough to enforce such rules. I couldn’t bare calling him a seniority name instead of his actual name. I know you all want to know what the seniority name is, sorry I am zipping my lips on this one. Moving on, I hated seeing his face whenever I call him that name. It kind of made him the real alpha man. He took every advantage that came with it and run. “Run Johnny run” and he did. Meanwhile, I was pleasantly surprised when I came to America and realized that people call their elders by their own name. Shocking I thought. Some Americans even call people out of their own name. That was 

supposed to make me feel good but I was like culture difference is sure something.

However, there is a saying that goes, one good turn deserves another. In my case, I had my younger siblings call me a seniority name. Boy! Did I hate that name. Something that was supposed to make me happy turns out sad. I felt bad each time my younger siblings call me that name. The reason I hated that name is because…… One, I felt like I am on a different level than them. Secondly, I felt some resentment from them. The seniority name some worth put a strain in our relationship. Things they normally tell me, they don’t tell me anymore. I was thinking that their reason for keeping things away from me was because as their senior, I was going to scrutinized everything they tell me. That hurt my feelings. Even after I left for America, I still feel that large gap between us. I long for their closeness but it not happening. I wish I could tell them. Well! They will know now from reading this post.

Ironically, some people in their family enjoy such sibling seniority. Even weird, that sibling seniority strengthens their relationship and as well put a boundary to any disrespect. Good for them, however, in my family, it only worked for my brother who still to date love it. But me, I never liked the idea, I believe my siblings respect me regather less. The mere fact that I am their sister and I treat them with respect automatically earn me my seniority respect. I didn’t need the name to earn that. Hey! You got to go with the flow in African family right? Besides, who are mine to tell my mother back then that I didn’t like her seniority rules? Okey you get the gist…. Lol!

If you are an African, do you practice sibling seniority with name, if yes, tell us. If no, tell us what kind of sibling seniority you practice.

Thanks.

I am humble.

Photo credit: Max Pixel