Memory lane! School fight in Africa

 

If you know me, you will know that I love to talk about Africa. On that note, I will like to drive down the memory lane. Way back in Africa, schooling was and still is not for the weak kids. In Africa, if you can talk the talk, you better walk the walk. If you run your mouth, don’t expect to get away with it in Africa. It was crazy back then. School fight was very popular. Kids fight for the sake of fighting. Others fight for fun and entertainment. While, most fight to show power.

The sad thing about it is that, it doesn’t matter if you had the physical strength or not, if you misspeak, you get beat up. The bullying was ridiculous. I can remember vividly how frightened most kids were then to go to school. The worse thing about this is that their parent are not even helping matters. If you get beat up in school by your age mate, you better not come home and report to your mom. If you do, you are going to be smack. African mothers believe that you should stick up for yourself except the person that fought you is older. On average, African students fight on their way back from school on a daily basis. You will see kids cheering the bully and the victim to fight. Most times these naïve students often sustain serious injury. As bad as it may sound to you readers, it was their way of life. To these kids, school without fighting is boring.

Guess what? I know better now. I have reflected on the impact of these school fights in Africa. If kids are still practicing such, I suggest they stop. It is wrong. Mothers, teachers and by-standers, you should advice these kids to stop such act. Act like fighting is wrong in so many ways. First of all, the fact that a group of children and of the same age, fight, does not mean they have the same physical strength and power. A child can physically injure his or her age mate. The idea that kids should fight back is not acceptable. African mothers I beg you to study your kids’ strength and weakness. If he or she is involved in a fight where they gets beat up, do not encourage them to go and fight back. Do not shame them for not exhibiting the same physical strength as their abuser. Fighting to me is an abuse period. I dislike it and I will not tolerate it. Fighting also subject most kids to fear. Fear of being bullied, fear of going out and fear of association. I say this because when a child is been beaten by his age mate, his pride is gone. Especially if this happens often. Besides that, in Africa, you will see other children mock that child for being weak and coward. This is not a PSA, this is just an advice. Stop the school fighting in Africa. If you see it happen, report it. How I just wish the government, school and community have law for such act. For all I know kids can be seriously injured in fighting or worse case scenario, die. Fighting is an abuse. Let’s stop it.

Thanks.

I am humble.

Sibling seniority

I can’t believe that I am sharing this story. Guess! Since it is practiced in my home, why not. I can’t say much about every country in African, but I am sure to talk about my country. In Nigeria, seniority as a whole is a big deal. Growing up as a child I was told that I have to respect anyone who is older than me. More so in my family. My elder brother relished the idea that I have to respect him. By that, I had to call him a seniority name instead of the name giving to him by my parent.

It was awkward at first. I say this because I didn’t understand why my parent had to wait till I am old enough to enforce such rules. I couldn’t bare calling him a seniority name instead of his actual name. I know you all want to know what the seniority name is, sorry I am zipping my lips on this one. Moving on, I hated seeing his face whenever I call him that name. It kind of made him the real alpha man. He took every advantage that came with it and run. “Run Johnny run” and he did. Meanwhile, I was pleasantly surprised when I came to America and realized that people call their elders by their own name. Shocking I thought. Some Americans even call people out of their own name. That was 

supposed to make me feel good but I was like culture difference is sure something.

However, there is a saying that goes, one good turn deserves another. In my case, I had my younger siblings call me a seniority name. Boy! Did I hate that name. Something that was supposed to make me happy turns out sad. I felt bad each time my younger siblings call me that name. The reason I hated that name is because…… One, I felt like I am on a different level than them. Secondly, I felt some resentment from them. The seniority name some worth put a strain in our relationship. Things they normally tell me, they don’t tell me anymore. I was thinking that their reason for keeping things away from me was because as their senior, I was going to scrutinized everything they tell me. That hurt my feelings. Even after I left for America, I still feel that large gap between us. I long for their closeness but it not happening. I wish I could tell them. Well! They will know now from reading this post.

Ironically, some people in their family enjoy such sibling seniority. Even weird, that sibling seniority strengthens their relationship and as well put a boundary to any disrespect. Good for them, however, in my family, it only worked for my brother who still to date love it. But me, I never liked the idea, I believe my siblings respect me regather less. The mere fact that I am their sister and I treat them with respect automatically earn me my seniority respect. I didn’t need the name to earn that. Hey! You got to go with the flow in African family right? Besides, who are mine to tell my mother back then that I didn’t like her seniority rules? Okey you get the gist…. Lol!

If you are an African, do you practice sibling seniority with name, if yes, tell us. If no, tell us what kind of sibling seniority you practice.

Thanks.

I am humble.

Photo credit: Max Pixel

The challenges of raising more than one baby in America

I know every African mother in America at one point wished they had their kids back home. Raising a child in America is very difficult at times. Even more so if you have more than one child. I for example, I had my kids with little to no assistance. If I was back home that wouldn’t happen because there will be help coming from everywhere. The mere fact that you learn to do everything baby yourself is traumatizing.

Also, when you have two or more young kids, I bet your head is spewing out fire. Lol! This is no joke. Lol! Had anyone told me that second child is a deal breaker, I would have told them, let me think about it first. These young toddlers because they don’t play outside often, have turned my house into a war zone. Sometimes, I pray for sleep to knock me out. Wait a minute, I am not allowed to sleep as long as they’re awake. Then when it comes to their daycare money, gracious goodness! It is what we call “cut throat.” The money these daycares are requesting for a month is enough for me to buy a land in Africa. No kidding. Lol! Then I asked my why work. It is almost impossible for a foreigner in America to work and have kids at the daycare because all their earnings will all go to daycare.

Another challenge, is life period. Just know it that if you have more than one child in America, you don’t own your life anymore.  These kids age 1-5 takes so much of your time that you ask what is life. Lol! You have zero time to groom yourself. You have no time for movie, no time for social life. In fact, you have basically no time for anything. Their sleep time to you is like a day in ‘la la land’. If only you know how I manage to write these blog post each week. It no surprise that more African women are bringing their mothers to America to assist them. I envy them. I will conclude by quoting the bible verse that says, “where there is sin, grace abound even more” my translation for this quote regarding these kids are, “where there is sleeplessness night, yelling, headache, trips to the doctors office and more, abound even more satisfaction of being a parent. You can’t deal with them and yet you cannot do without them. I love you my little munchkins ….

Thanks.

I am humble.

Photo credit: Wikimedia Commons

Sister wife

Wow! How normal can this be that a sister will start sleeping with her sister’s husband? If you read my post on social media side chicks rule marriages, you will see where I expressed what is considered normal nowadays for younger girls. How girls are busy snatching married women’s husbands.

Well, today, I bring to you sister wife. I was going through my Facebook feeds when I stumbled upon this video of a young lady ranting about how men are scares in Nigeria. Therefore, married women should be open to share their husbands. I was like, what? As if that was not enough, she further lamented how stingy married women are becoming with their husbands and that married women should be willing to share their husbands with their sisters. Oh my goodness! Seriously, tell me if this is not an end-time. I couldn’t believe what I heard while watching the short clip. The young lady in question was so bold and confident as she voiced her concern.

Wouldn’t that be lovable? When we now live in a world where girls are suggesting that married women should share their husband with their sisters. My! My! My! My! I am short of words. (Love your neighbor as thy self, indeed.) Could it be that young girls these days are less confident in themselves? How can one even think about such, let alone suggest it. Why are girls selling themselves short? I am not a man but I’m kind of wondering what men would be thinking after they watch that video. As long as the young lady is concern, she is young and want to live her life to the fullest. No problem. But don’t think people will forget about that video. If people do, the internet don’t. Normally, I always have an advice for this kind of topic, however, in this case, I am speechless.

Women, men what do you think about this young lady’s request? Should married women share their husbands with their sisters? Leave a comment below.

Thanks.

I am humble.

Photo credit: Pixabay