My labor room experience!

Listen! If anyone tell you, mom-to-be that having a baby is easy breezy, I tell you, run. Run for your dear life for that person is a trap. They tell you that because just like them, they want you at the dog house. I say to myself, how come they tell you the challenges of pregnancy but forget to tell you that labor itself is a the devil's bargain. You need to see me on that day of my first baby delivery. I was bouncing into Magee-women’s hospital of Pittsburgh like a baller.  I was like “bring it on I got this”! I spoke to my baby in my belly like… “You see today you got no choice but to come out”. “I’m done with the sleepless night and backache”. I said to her, “today is me and you”. “I can’t wait to see your face”. 😃. Poor Innocent baby. However, you see all those trash talking I was saying? It’s all changed when I got the first blow from my labor. Like an African women that I am, I let out a loud scream in my tribe (Chineke oh) Lol. (FYI, Chineke is Igbo. A language/tribe in Nigeria). As soon as I let that voice out, the doctor there was like, “maam! I didn’t get that, what did you say”? 😠! You should have seen my face when he asked me that. I was like get behind meeeeee…. You know what I mean. Lol!

I don’t get it, during labor, a calm and polite person turns aggressive immediately. It is almost like you want to blame the doctors and nurses for your pregnancy. Lol! Meanwhile, I became more submissive when I saw a group of resident doctor’s walked into the room with a file. The next thing I heard was “maam! You requested for an epidural”. “So we are here to install it on you”. I quickly let out a voice, “thank you Jesus”. If only I knew that the epidural was the drug of deception. If only I knew. I said this because the damn anesthesia did not do a damn thing. It didn’t work. That day I thought they were going to charge for m… because I almost ripped they doctors’ head off. 😂. All I keep hearing from one of the resident doctor was maam, gentle but push, gentle but push.  At that moment of uncertainty, trust my dearest aunty in the room with prayers. “Mamamamamamama”. Speaking in tongues and I kept saying “aunty keep on praying oh, amen, amen”. Lol!

Well! If you are familiar with people from my country, any circumstances that occurs and it’s bad, then it’s the devils fault. We blame the devil for everything and at that moment, I wish the devil was close, I would have finished him myself. After 18 hours, my baby finally came. You won’t believe what came out of my mouth. I was like “food oh food”. “Somebody give me food, something”.😄 I don’t know who it was, my aunty or someone else, however, somebody came in with a foot long subway. The magic antidote to my striking starvation. The nurse kept saying, “maam! We can’t allow you to eat here”. “This is the labor room so you need to wait to till we move you to the other room before you can eat”. If you saw my face that time, you will understand what time it is. 😒😠😓! 

Mind you at the point, I had not seen my new baby yet. I know some of you will say bad mom. Close your mouth. 😏! How can you understand? They ones who already had babies will be like we’ve been through that so why is yours different. Guess what, your pregnancy is different from mine. Back to my gist, after downloading the foot long subway, I was like give me my baby, I know she’s a girl. Lol! I carried her and the instant connection between us was toxic. I remembered that I hinted during that gruesome labor that I am not having another baby. That was a lie. I went back again. However, I am happy I had my son. Overall, I am happy to inform you that the most significant accomplishments in my life are my kids. But as for going back again to experience that epidural flop, nope! Thank you. Thanks for reading my crazy labor room saga.

If you are a mother, heey! Tell me, was your experience as a mother subtle or hell like mine? Leave a comment below.

Before I forget, Mondays and Fridays are the days to watch out for the latest hot gist. 

Thanks.

I am humble.

Photo credit: Wikimedia Commons